DREAM ON

Where the fuck is my dream??.....i woke up one morning from drunk revelry of past night and asked myself….cruising on the baton of being a BE and the pursuing MS I kept thinking here I m reaching closer to my goals …..but BE was nothing but sexcapedes with gf ,drunk fights with family and humiliating academic records…MS is following the same pursuit…more drunken nights minus sexcapedes plus Devdasesque pain for loss of love(though I m spared from moral bantering )…..grades keep getting worst…..All the while same question keeps recurring my mind …where the fuck is my dream…..I somehow don’t realize that it’s a journey that matters and not the dream….cos dream is after all an illusion..whatever is tough or impossible to achieve becomes our dream..you may or may not achieve it ..but every passing moment is to be lived NOW rather than waiting for the dream to come….Entire fucking life goes pursuing/waiting for that dream and one fine day you are just sitting on a armchair awaited to get croaked so that ungrateful sons of yours can follow their fucking dream…..that brings me to the question how do I satisfy the NOW….well striving for better future by burning midnight’s oil lamp or whatever is not really my cup of tea….sometimes I get in these resolution modes where I consider myself reformed broken from the shackles of alcohol and love and ready to break through new territories…that ‘mode’ however is pretty short lived….human beings in general love to evoke empathies for themselves….losers thrive on pity and winners thrive on pride on making it on their own…..self-pity or self-fawning satisfies you to certain extent but after that one keeps searching for certain kind of support or justification for your respective loss or victory….you humor yourself into believing your are morally right or wrong when consented from others….no matter how independent you believe yourself to be ,in order to beat conscience you always seek someone’s opinion…..and everyt single consent or seeking of opinion is in the wake of that dream..this bit is confusing but I will try and elucidate it….winners knowing that they are capable of achieving something great set their dreams much higher and keep striving for it ,losers realizing sooner or later where they belong try to set their dreams higher too albeit without the intention of striving/pursuing for it….so on an equilibrium plane all the beings are losers trying to reach that mirage…and every single lose or victory for them is reason to justify oneself and evoke that empathy from other beings….so the vicious cycle does not only lie in conventional struggle-settle-marriage-kids-death format but in dream-win/lose-evoke sympathy-dream more-evoke more sympathy-death…pain lies in accepting in ones limitations and happiness lies freeding youself from those limitations as if they don’t matter to you anymore… dreams are therefore nothing but much needed evil to keep beings alive in this meaningless existence of nothingness….So like Steve Tyler says:

Yeah, I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

So ‘dream on’ and keep hanging